"Bye, Mommy!"

Two simple words that changed the course of my life. Anthony is three months old. Quite the milestone. He is past the colicky stage-though he didn't really have one; sleeping through the night; and, if he gets a fever, he no longer requires a lumbar puncture to rule out sepsis in a newborn. It also means the end of my maternity leave. My first scheduled day was Saturday. I dreaded it as it came closer. I love being a peds nurse, but I love more being a mom. Friday night I put Anthony to bed. He looked so sweet, so innocent, so perfect. I caressed his face as he slept, and told him I was going to work the next day. I know he doesn't understand, but I still had to explain why Mom wouldn't be there for him. I then went in to put Josh to bed. I said to him, "Josh, I won't be here tomorrow. I have to go to work. You get to spend the day with Dad." He gave me a big pouty face and said, "Bye, Mommy!" Tears were in his voice, and it broke my heart. I left him in his room and turned to Matt. "I can't do this anymore. I can't leave my babies!" Matt gave me a hug and told me, "That's fine. Quit your job." "When?" "How about Monday?" I was a bit in shock as I said, "Okay, I will." I have had so many doubts since then. How are we going to pay for the continuing education credits to keep my license? How will we come up with the money for car registration, new tires, medical expenses, even the gas in my car! We've used my money for all of this. But I know it is the right decision. The knowledge of it burns within my soul. I know the Lord wants me at this time to stay home with my boys. I don't know how we will come up with the money, but we will find a way. We just have to have faith that the Lord will provide, and go from there.

It may sound silly to some when I say it is changing the course of my life. I only worked two days a month, but I have been a nurse for ten years. I worked so hard to get where I am today. It has always been a major defining part of my life. I was twenty years old when I started working as a nurse! I have always prided myself on my skills. And I'm now cutting the last ties I have to my profession. I will miss my hospital, I will miss my coworkers, I will especially miss the cute little kiddos I took care of. I will miss the feeling I get when I help a child get better. And, prideful as it is, I will miss the pediatricians telling me what a great nurse I am. But I now get to spend all my time with my family, and working to make our life at home as great as my life was growing up. The greatest gift my mom gave me was to always be there for me, and now I can do the same for my children.

Chasing Birds and Anthony's Blessing

I remember when I first got married how important my job was to me. I loved being a nurse, and I don't mind saying I was a pretty awesome peds nurse. I absolutely loved taking care of the kids. I always came home happy. Kids do that to me. They make me so happy. I'm so grateful for that time in my life, and all I learned. I still love being a nurse, and love even more that I rarely have to go in to work. It makes me sad that I have less than a month now before I have to start leaving my boys, even though it is really only twice a month. Now, my favorite thing to do is chase birds with my boys. It is really Josh that chases, as I carry little Anthony behind and encourage Josh. He never catches them, of course, then runs back to where I follow. He is breathless as he gasps, "Chase the birds! They flew away!" I love it! He is so cute and sweet, and such a little handful! We're in the process of potty training Josh right now. He has his good days, and his very defiant days. Those are the days when Matt gets home and I hand the boys over and take a bath! But I absolutely love being a mom. It is a bit scary, looking at the responsibility involved in raising a child. Making sure physical, emotional, and spiritual needs are met. Hopefully, I will do a decent job raising these sweet spirits the Lord has entrusted in my care. If you look at the background of the top pic, you can see the birds Josh is chasing, as he waves his hands in the air and screams. I'm so glad I got the picture!
I should add a bit about my little Anthony. Lately he's been going to bed around 10 or 11, then sleeps till 6:30 or 7. It is quite nice! I wish he'd go back to sleep after I feed him, but he is up for a couple of hours, then goes to sleep right around when Josh gets up. I hope to someday get to sleep in again! He is the happiest baby! He has a cute little giggle, loves to talk, and he sticks his tongue out when he smiles. It is so fun having him in our family!

Anthony the day of his baby blessing, June 12th. It was a perfect day, not too hot or cold. We held it at our house, just having a bishopric member come over. It was a beautiful blessing, perfect for my beautiful little baby!

Had to get the brothers in a picture. Josh's face is a mess from all the treats he ate!

Little mischief maker kept pouring water into a cup then dumping it out all over the patio and grass. Fortunately, little got in the house!

We decided to try and get a family picture since we were all dressed up. First, we wanted one in the house.

We decided the backyard was a pretty place for a pic, so took the camera outside. Anthony was starting to fuss, Josh was looking in the grass for bugs, and Matt and I were laughing in absolute frustration!

Best pic we could get. Josh totally cheesed it, Anthony was crying like crazy. But that's kinda how life is now, so the picture fits!

We've done a lot of yard work lately, so we borrowed my awesome bro's truck to take everything to the dump. Josh thought it was the coolest thing ever riding in a truck to the dump, then crashed on the way home after the 3rd trip to the dump. Thanks again, Dave and Tami!

Josh loves running through the sprinklers. His favorite part of it is chasing me!

Anthony smiling while I talk to him. I have better ones, but they are not on the computer yet, and I'm too lazy to get the camera out right now:)

Josh sometimes doesn't like to go to bed, and crashes next to the door cause he likes to look under and try to see us.

We took the kids to the park to fly a kite.

I love this one of Matt and Anthony. Matt loves to hold him like this and play with him, and Anthony always gives him good grins and giggles!

Josh's smile here reminds me of a picture of me when I was younger. It's nice to occasionally see glimpses of me in my husband's clone!