Friday, December 23, 2011

When a loved one becomes a memory...

That memory becomes a treasure.
Grandpa received the gift he's been praying for the last nearly 3 years. He passed away and was reunited with his wife. And just in time for Christmas. We are so heartbroken to lose such a sweet, amazing man. But we are all so happy for him, as well. Because we know he is happy.
My brothers and I were blessed to live next to them while growing up. We went over every day. And many times not just once a day. When we were in school we would stop by on our way to school, stop in for lunch, then go after school to their house. They were our second parents. They were married in 1939. On their honeymoon, they went and visited Grandma's twin sister, Fern. They slept outside on army cots, and Grandpa went fishing with Fern's husband, Jack. I have many fond memories of fishing trips with my grandpa. I didn't get to go as often as my brothers. My mom liked to have mommy days with me and my sis when my brothers had daddy days with Dad and Grandpa. But I definitely had my fair share of fishing trips. We loved going in my grandpa's boat out on the lake! And my grandpa was always tickled when the girls would come with him. The last fishing trip I went on was with Grandpa, David (my older bro), and my dad. It was at Strawberry. I caught the biggest fish, and Grandpa giggled and bragged to everyone for at least the next month that I caught the biggest fish. Grandma hated the boat. She used to tell us not to look at the water cause we'd get dizzy and fall in. She was very serious about it! I'll never forget the sound of her gasp whenever a small wake hit the boat and it would rock. My uncle told us of this happening once, and Grandma got mad at Grandpa for rocking the boat. Grandpa said, "I'm just sitting here breathing." Grandma said, "Then stop breathing!" They were the funniest couple ever! Grandma was always very feisty, and Grandpa was always laid back and easy going. She was always hot tempered, and I think my entire life I've seen my grandpa mad once or twice. But they adored each other, and would do anything to make the other happy. When my family moved to Payson, it was very hard on my Grandpa. We went from visiting multiple times a day to once or twice a week. But we still got to visit once or twice a week. If it was ever longer than that, we would walk in, and Grandma would say, "Well, hello there, stranger!" When I got a new job, I'd always call my mom, then my Grandma. I worked in Spanish Fork for 3 years in my twenties. I was there 3-4 days a week. Every day after work I would go to Grandma's house. I would sit first and chat with Grandpa for the first 15-20 minutes, then I'd go visit with Grandma for an hour or more. Grandpa would always come in and join us after a while. At the time I wanted to be a physician. He would come and tell me all about this "lady doctor" he'd seen on tv. Grandma would pull out her quote book and read quotes. They'd both tell stories of growing up in the depression. Whenever it was time to go, Grandma would say, "Be as good as you are. You're good enough, already." Her saying this made us want to do better. We wanted to be as good as she thought we were. I was there when Grandma passed away. I am so grateful I was. My brother, David, saw Grandpa the night before he died. He was able to talk with him, then Grandpa passed away in his sleep. I am so grateful David was able to see him at the very end. David was one of Grandpa's best friends. Even after Grandpa had his stroke, David would take him fishing multiple times every year. He reminds me a lot of Grandpa. His love for his family, his love for fishing, and his love for BYU football and basketball. Our grandparents adored all of their grandkids. We knew they didn't love some more than others. They loved all of us. Family was their life. They are the ultimate example of what I want to be.


This is David and Justin waiting at the cemetery. The funeral was beautiful. David spoke, and represented the grandkids very well. Justin, Alyse, and my mom sang and I accompanied them to a beautiful arrangement of "Sweet Hour of Prayer." Until I heard the arrangement, I thought of the song as just another song in the hymnbook. I had no idea it was so beautiful. It amazes me how simply changing the music to a piece can make it so it touches your soul.

The pallbearers carrying the casket. David and Justin were involved in the funeral, so Michael and Brian were the pallbearers for my family. A few of my other cousins as well, including Jared, the only grandson to carry on Grandpa's name. He drove 20 hours from his home in Illinois with his kids and Christmas to attend Grandpa's funeral. When Jared lived here, it was always David, Jared, and Grandpa that went out fishing together.

I'm sure Grandpa loved that BYU sent this flower arrangement. He worked there for fifteen years. He loved to tell us about the prophets and apostles he met.

Grandpa's beautiful handcarved casket. My cousin's cousin made it. Grandpa always said to just bury him in a pine box, so it was a pine casket.

On second thought, maybe pine wasn't the best. If you look close, you can see the screws on the handle ripped out of the wood. I will never forget the commotion as it ripped off on the way to the hearse, and the casket went falling to the ground. My aunt has the same gasp my grandma had. She cried out, "You dropped my dad!" Most of us started laughing uncontrollably. It brought a lot of humor just when we were all bawling. I figure Grandpa zapped it to make it fall, and Grandma probably smacked him for it:)

It is still so surreal. It hasn't even been a week since I last talked with him. And I hate when the time comes to say goodbye. 95 years of love and warm memories, then just a moment to stand next to the body of one who was so vibrant and loving. I don't want him to be gone. I will miss him so much.

My family was the last to leave the cemetery. I love my family, I love our closeness, and I love that we are all striving to make it back to our Heavenly Father's presence. All of us are very active in the church, and we all have a strong testimony of the gospel. And I love that we do.

So, Grandma and Grandpa, until we meet again. Not really good-bye. Just see ya later. And it is still so hard. No more calling, no more dropping by for a visit. But we have our memories. We have the love you gave to us. And we will never forget it. We will never forget you. Thank you. Thank you for just being you. I love you.